Choosing Your Wedding Party

Let’s review your wedding party – who to select, who not to select, and proactive ways to avoid stress and disagreements that may arise.Even if you’ve known for years exactly who will be in this VIP group, read on / have a listen for some solid tips on setting expectations, and YOUR responsibilities to your wedding party.

Choosing Your Wedding Party | episode dated 4.8.2020

wedding party

Choosing Your Wedding Party | Notes from today’s episode

wedding party
My now-husband John + his brothers / Best Men, Michael and Tony

Wedding Party YES’s:

  • BFF’s / lifers
  • Dependable & Reliable.  Trustworthy.  Available.  Financially able.  Flexible.

Wedding Party NO’s:

  • Seasonal friends.
  • Can’t get along with others.
  • Flaky. 

But what if I was in THEIR wedding party?  Don’t I have to return the honor?

So you were a bridesmaid in a college friend’s wedding party.  Wondering if you need to re-extend the honor?  Here’s the story line I come across often:

“Kristin & I were college roommates, and kind of keep in touch via Facebook.  She asked me to be in her wedding two years ago, and I was one of 10 bridesmaids.  Now I feel bad, like I need to invite her to be a bridesmaid in  my wedding – even though I don’t really see her as that close of a friend.  I already have 6 bridesmaids chosen for my wedding party, and don’t know what to do.”

No!  If YOU don’t view someone as a lifelong friend, you do NOT need to feel badly about leaving them out of your wedding party.


Can’t decide who should fill the coveted Maid of Honor & Best Man wedding party spots?  Split the honor, or don’t assign the titles at all!


Keep in mind that being in the wedding party can be expensive.  Be sensitive to this as you think about who you would like to invite to stand up with you.

WEDDING PARTY TO DO: explain anticipated costs to everyone in advance.  Give a general expected attire budget, share any necessary travel, etc. 


Let’s be honest – disagreements & miscommunications happen within wedding parties all time.  The good news is that you can control how quickly something is resolved by using proactive communication and keeping things in perspective.  For more advice on this, tune in to today’s full show.

WEDDING PARTY TO DO:  Ask yourself, is what I’m asking of my bridesmaid / groomsman realistic? 

For example, am I asking Jessica to do a ton of craft projects even though I know she isn’t crafty at all?  Or asking people to meet weekly at night, when someone has a new baby or is unavailable due to work? 

Ask yourself, am I being financially reasonable?  Is this within the budget that we discussed in the beginning?


To wrap up today’s show, any questions for me about today’s episode about choosing your wedding party?  Please be in touch!

Sending my best wishes for happy planning!

Cheers, Kara

wedding party
I wouldn’t have dreamed it any other way … @katelerickson @vanessamerten @jenhatzung <3

Leave a Reply